who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize