chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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