we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
