I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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