We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
