Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
