Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
