Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
