I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
