Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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