So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
