Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
