awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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