Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Come on in and take your pants off
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