finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
