Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
