Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
