I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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