Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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