Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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