My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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