Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
