So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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