wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize