At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
