roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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