Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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