Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
im on a boat
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