I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
