I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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