her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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