i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
