We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sorry about my life...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
