We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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