6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm always down for nudity.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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