Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
