You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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