Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize