apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
