she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
