She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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