Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
