Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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