You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
