You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
