she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
