It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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