C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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