Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
