i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
