oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
