sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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