Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
