Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
