I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
