Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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