he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You took a bar mat shot.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
