sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
