Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
