Ambien. No doubt about it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
