i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
