Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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