Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
