Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
