I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
