we're blogging at a bar
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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