Who wears a wallet chain?!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
