I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
