There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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