They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
