I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
