That's intense
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
