This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
