Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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