so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
