It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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