Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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