1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
